“This week... I upset people by sending out something too hastily and had a lot of communication problems as a result of it!”
The ADHD worker/boss:
| Face these known challenges:
| Have theses areas of strength:
|
How it works at all is a mystery!
How to communicate well
What do I want to say?
- Make lots of lists of what you need to communicate
- Make notes at meetings to help you improve your short term memory
- Make sure what I will say is “clear” - think before you speak.
- Write notes before telephone calls and meetings.
- Double check what you are going to send out before you send it! Beware haste! Seek out friendly proof readers.
- Who needs to know and who doesn't
- Keep broad issues open to many and personal issues 1 to 1
- Beware procrastination – sometime people really need good warning of things (not everyone likes surprises)
- Is it a good time?
- Will people be able to concentrate?
- Will they need to write it down to not forget it?
- Are there other issues around? (Multi-cultural/Multi-lingual/Emotional)
How to say it
- Beware impulsivity – especially with people you know (Familiarity breeds Contempt. Impulsivity increases with familiarity)
- Introverts like to read – they will read notice boards
- Extroverts like to hear about it – they read after asking
- You will need both approaches
- Don't assume that saying something once means people have got it
- Say things with warmth, friendliness
- Treat people as you would want to be treated (as an adult)
- How do I know they got it?
- Listening skills!
- Invite feedback (may not always get it instantly – give less impulsive people time (even another meeting)
- How do I continually improve?
- Don't assume you have arrived
- Invite others opinions
- Listen to the core truth in all criticism
- Debrief yourself and set goals for improvement
- Read books and plunder knowledge from others
Improving other areas improves communication
- Dealing with procrastination – not communicating in time or not having enough time to properly communicate or think through what needs to be communicated.
- The Eisenhower Matrix
"The urgent problems are seldom the important ones." - Dwight D. Eisenhower.
| High I M P O R T A N C E | Q1 - Potentially crisis management Driven by deadline and never making real progress Crisis’s Deadlines Phone calls Other peoples messes (CAN RESULT IN STRESS) | Q2 - Relationship building and making time to plan and prevent crises Time for prayer meditation Time for review and reflection Planning Recruiting Training (THE RIGHT VISION / STEWARDSHIP) |
| Low I M P O R T A N C E | Q3 - Generally reactive Being seen to be busy Other peoples messes Trivial phone calls Droppers in/Junk Mail (SHORT TERM FOCUS) | Q4 - More time concerned with wasting time and trivial things Computer games Phone calls Mucking around/too much chatting (IRRESPONSIBILITY) |
| | Very URGENT Not URGENT | |
- Delegate and try to surround yourself with people who complement your own. You might need to get people to assist you with details and communication
- Slowing down and aiming low – realise the thrill of fire-fighting and the thrill of new projects for the less-stress existence of keeping people well communicated and happier around you.
Conflict
- Take time to listen – you may not be right!
- Try not to take offence – low-self esteem often means we can take things personally
- Pro-actively take time to build high emotional bank balances ready for withdrawals!
- Always seek to win people not arguments. Your viewpoint is not always the most important thing to hold onto
- Avoid words like “always”, “never”. They are not accurate.
- Express your feelings to the other person instead of making accusations. Replace, “You hurt me with your angry outburst” with “I felt hurt when you shouted at me today”. Replace “You are clearly wrong in your position and probably stupid too” with “I feel you have mis-understood the point I was trying to make, can I explain myself more fully”.
- Take more time to listen and understand the other person. After that explain your point of view. Finally seek a new way forward together. A “third way” is possible – it is not always compromise.
- Submission to authority – We have a problem with it. We are probably at fault so lets make active choices and keep our mouths shut!
- Often conflict that arises in a team setting is an important phase for a team to constructively pass through to become a performing team. (Forming, Storming, Norming and Performing stages)
- Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue!
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