Because to err is human, and we are more human than most

Subjects for upcoming meetings

24^th October. Error Slips and Mistakes

‘His mind wanders, but we don’t worry, it’s too weak to get far.’ Reader’s digest

Because to err is human, and we are more human than most I thought Error Slips would be a great topic for the group.

Some Background

Mistakes tend to involve planning errors or insufficient knowledge

Error slips, by contrast, arise when we make an unintended deviation from a good plan and occur, usually, when we are in ‘automatic mode’

Some types of Error Slips

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Plan: Get up, make coffee.Result: Pour orange juice in coffee.

A description error slip, probably because the orange juice has much in common with milk (appearance of carton, used at breakfast)

Plan: Take family to Pirates of Caribbean. Result:Take road to office.

A’ capture’ slip, your drive to the cinema was ‘captured’ by an automatic drive to office routine.

Plan: Forgotten:Result:Why am I in this room? What am I looking for? ‘Loss of activation’ slip when you lose track of what you’re trying to do.

Objectives: To identify out errors, see if we can work out circumstances of occurrence and a plan to reduce them

I’ll send more info before the meeting

WebLink : Why we make mistakes

December 5th. Talk by Coach Joanne Norris. Subject to be announced.

Group Blog http://adultadhdbelgium.blogspot.com/

Communication in the Workplace for Adults with ADHD.By Kevin Colyer

“This week... I upset people by sending out something too hastily and had a lot of communication problems as a result of it!”

The ADHD worker/boss:

Face these known challenges: dislike and distrust of authoritarianism procrastination lack of subtlety (people skills) low self-image prone to struggle to concentrate drive for stimulus despise drudgery

Have theses areas of strength: knowledge of their personal challenges creativity fun daring and enjoy challenge thrive on stress open to new ideas

How it works at all is a mystery!

How to communicate well

What do I want to say?

• Make lots of lists of what you need to communicate

• Make notes at meetings to help you improve your short term memory

• Make sure what I will say is “clear” - think before you speak.

• Write notes before telephone calls and meetings.

• Double check what you are going to send out before you send it! Beware haste! Seek out friendly proof readers.

To whom to say it

• Who needs to know and who doesn't

• Keep broad issues open to many and personal issues 1 to 1

When to say it

• Beware procrastination – sometime people really need good warning of things (not everyone likes surprises)

• Is it a good time?

• Will people be able to concentrate?

• Will they need to write it down to not forget it?

• Are there other issues around? (Multi-cultural/Multi-lingual/Emotional)

How to say it

• Beware impulsivity – especially with people you know (Familiarity breeds Contempt. Impulsivity increases with familiarity)

• Introverts like to read – they will read notice boards

• Extroverts like to hear about it – they read after asking

• You will need both approaches

• Don't assume that saying something once means people have got it

• Say things with warmth, friendliness

• Treat people as you would want to be treated (as an adult)

5. How do I know they got it?

• Listening skills!

• Invite feedback (may not always get it instantly – give less impulsive people time (even another meeting)

6. How do I continually improve?

• Don't assume you have arrived

• Invite others opinions

• Listen to the core truth in all criticism

• Debrief yourself and set goals for improvement

• Read books and plunder knowledge from others

Improving other areas improves communication

• Dealing with procrastination – not communicating in time or not having enough time to properly communicate or think through what needs to be communicated.

• The Eisenhower Matrix

"The urgent problems are seldom the important ones." - Dwight D. Eisenhower.

High I M P O R T A N C E	Q1 - Potentially crisis management Driven by deadline and never making real progress Crisis’s Deadlines Phone calls Other peoples messes (CAN RESULT IN STRESS)	Q2 - Relationship building and making time to plan and prevent crises Time for prayer meditation Time for review and reflection Planning Recruiting Training (THE RIGHT VISION / STEWARDSHIP)
Low I M P O R T A N C E	Q3 - Generally reactive Being seen to be busy Other peoples messes Trivial phone calls Droppers in/Junk Mail (SHORT TERM FOCUS)	Q4 - More time concerned with wasting time and trivial things Computer games Phone calls Mucking around/too much chatting (IRRESPONSIBILITY)
	Very URGENT Not URGENT

• Delegate and try to surround yourself with people who complement your own. You might need to get people to assist you with details and communication

• Slowing down and aiming low – realise the thrill of fire-fighting and the thrill of new projects for the less-stress existence of keeping people well communicated and happier around you.

Conflict

• Take time to listen – you may not be right!

• Try not to take offence – low-self esteem often means we can take things personally

• Pro-actively take time to build high emotional bank balances ready for withdrawals!

• Always seek to win people not arguments. Your viewpoint is not always the most important thing to hold onto

• Avoid words like “always”, “never”. They are not accurate.

• Express your feelings to the other person instead of making accusations. Replace, “You hurt me with your angry outburst” with “I felt hurt when you shouted at me today”. Replace “You are clearly wrong in your position and probably stupid too” with “I feel you have mis-understood the point I was trying to make, can I explain myself more fully”.

• Take more time to listen and understand the other person. After that explain your point of view. Finally seek a new way forward together. A “third way” is possible – it is not always compromise.

• Submission to authority – We have a problem with it. We are probably at fault so lets make active choices and keep our mouths shut!

• Often conflict that arises in a team setting is an important phase for a team to constructively pass through to become a performing team. (Forming, Storming, Norming and Performing stages)

• Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue!

ADHD Awareness Day today

Site Map

Resources for Adults with ADHD

Support Group Meetings Topic Notes

Notes on a variety of ADHD management topics


Clinical Articles

What is ADHD?
by Dr van den Bergh

ADHD, psychostimulants and addiction
by Dr Van den Bergh

In the Press

Please Pay Attention. Article about ADHD in the Expat Community Reproduced by kind permission of the Bulletin

Press statement-ADHD-Europe



Living with ADHD
Members true Stories

September 19th ADHD Awareness Day

The family Information Group has asked me to publicise their actions to mark ADHD Awareness day:

AD/HD Information Tables at selected international schools in Tervuren, Waterloo and Brussels. AD/HD Awareness flyers distributed to schools, parents, etc. by the group plus separate emails to the schools irrespective of whether they are represented in the AD/HD Family Support Group asking them to display the flyers and to encourage their teachers to get more information. AD/HD Information tables at Back-to-School Nights in Tervuren, Waterloo & Brussels.

Please e-mail if you want to help

Communication- next meeting

Wednesday, 19^th September, 8 pm

Topic :Group Communication

When you have ADHD there is greater potential for misunderstandings in group situations-

Sources of distraction multiply, and for those of us with processing problems( especially auditory) paying attention is even harder.

Kevin will talk about communication issues at work.

I’ll bring some ideas on other communication issues.

The 19^th is ADHD Awareness day, so I’ll make a cake- if anyone else wants to bring something, that would be very welcome!

I’ll send out an agenda and directions to the meeting this weekend.

Upcoming Dates for autumn meetings : 24^th October and 5^th December